I just wanted to take a moment and say thank you to everyone who has read my blog and supported it! I have had so much fun writing it and it has been nice to have an outlet to vent! I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe New Years and here's to a tweeker filled, bizaro crazed, and a believe it or not 2011!!
Katie
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Some things never change
After a long day at work, I just cant wait to get on the bus! I desperately need a sarcasm font. So today as I was waiting at the bus stop, both of my buses pulled up at the same time. I then had to do what I had been doing for 8 hours and what I hate to do outside of work-make a decision. Now, I am notorious for picking the wrong line at the grocery store and, as it was just discovered, at the TSA security line. I do not know what my deal is, but when I finally make a decision, I always choose the wrong one. Well, I can add buses to that list as I CLEARLY chose the wrong bus today. I hop on the 18 versus the 15 and immediately regret it...ugh.
In my experience with my afternoon bus, I have learned that the Express bus usually comes before the regular bus. As I get on the bus I just tried to confirm that it was not the express with the bus driver as they are usually very helpful. Well, I obviously picked the bus driver with raging PMS, as the reply I got back was, "does it say Express anywhere on this bus?" which was said with more attitude than I can convey. Listen lady, I am not sure you know who you are messing with but don't start with me otherwise its going to be a long mile home!!! The bus continues on and we get to the next stop and I decide that in a future blog I am going to need to add to my bus rules cause another piece of etiquette got manhandled. I am sitting there and I see this person (its the bus, I cannot determine gender on a regular basis) just tugging on the cord which you pull to alert the driver that the next stop is needed. I look up and the light is on indicating that the cord had been pulled, yet this person keeps tugging. Umm, pulling the cord harder isn't going to make the bus stop any faster. Its like the people who continuously hit the elevator buttons...it does nothing but annoy people. I then heae the person yell, "Next Stop". Dude! I wouldn't want to piss off this particular bus driver and I am pretty sure that she will stop at the next stop...chill out! Trust me, we all want to get off the bus!!
At the next stop, this woman breaks one of my rules and gets on the bus before the rest of the people get off. It was classic!! This bus driver proceeds to go, "now why would you get on when the rest of the people haven't gotten off?!" Bus driver you might have redeemed yourself!! Dumb lady of course sits right next to me when there are a gazillion seats available. Sometimes I think the fact that I look normal and clean hurts me. Then a wheelchair lady gets on the bus with one of those motorized wheelchairs. I look and this lady has been on the bus before sans wheelchair. Am I seriously missing something?! Is Seattle just the laziest city out there? The bus driver proceeds to get mad at her too. This driver is on a rampage!!! The bus continues and this wheelchair lady proceeds to get on the phone (another rule broken!) and talk about how her insurance is dropping her and something about doctor appointments and basically starts crying...WAY TOO MUCH!! Pull yourself together lady, this is the bus not a therapist's office...personal calls like that should be confined to your residence.
Normally, when I leave the bus, I always say Thank You. My parents always instilled the importance of manners and I am usually grateful that I got to my destination in one piece. Guess who didn't get a thank you today...like I said, don't mess with me!! :)
BONUS TRAIN STORY
So I am in line to get my boarding pass in Portland to head home from a wonderful Christmas break. As I am standing in line, I realize that I left my kindle in my suitcase which they made me check. I say, under my breath, "shit". All of a sudden the person in front of me turns around and she says, "do you need me to hold your spot for you" A couple of things to note here:
1. This woman has not a tooth in her mouth and what appear to be meth sores on her face and she reeks of cigarette smoke
2. How did she know that I needed my spot saved?
Regardless (or Irregardless :)), it was a very nice gesture and I got my kindle and she saved my spot. That is where I thought/wanted our conversation should have ended. She proceeds to ask me multiple questions about checking luggage, how long it takes, and some other things...without teeth it was hard to understand. She then asks me to save her spot while she goes to finish her cigarette. I see why you wanted me to save your spot, you wanted me to do the same for you...well played. I do and as she is gone I begin to realize that the people you are standing in line with are usually the ones that you sit next too (just a little heads up if you ever take the train). Sheer panic sits in!! What if I get stuck sitting next to her? Regardless of the missing teeth and possible meth sores, she is way to chatty for me and is going to stink to high heaven of cigarette smoke!! I get enough of this on the bus and just start praying that I don't get stuck to her. I try to give the conductor some instructions, but then an old man fell and well, I was just thrown a seat. I start walking to the train and I am about to have an anxiety attack. She gets on my car and the praying intensifies: PLEASE DO NT BE SEATED NEXT TO ME!!! She calls out her number as she obviously can't read the bold numbers that go in numeric order above the seats and she is not right next to me...thank Jesus!! but she is seated behind me which she points out and is excited about. A poor old man gets stuck sitting next to her, but they turn out to be quite the pair and even more annoying than I could have asked. The entire trip, he proceeds to give her a history lesson on Washington. "This is where the first train in WA was" "At the turn of the century, blah blah blah". I am trying to sleep and could give a rip about the history of Centralia. My new bff was just replying back with a bunch of 'aint's', 'swells', and other grammatically incorrect words. The worst was in Tacoma, the history buff must have said the word TACOMA 6 times in a very loud voice and the guy next to me goes, "What city are we in?" Umm, hello...pretty sure the guy behind us just told you that. I reply, "tacoma". He says, "oh this is Coma...it's beautiful" A couple of things:
1. You had no idea where you were yet you feel comfortable enough to give the city a nickname? Not sure that you and Tacoma are that close yet, buddy.
2. Beautiful?
My bff at this point every 5 minutes asks how much further and that she is so excited and anxious to get there...literally every 5 minutes. You and me both sister...if I have to hear you say that one more time, I am going to lose it.
In my experience with my afternoon bus, I have learned that the Express bus usually comes before the regular bus. As I get on the bus I just tried to confirm that it was not the express with the bus driver as they are usually very helpful. Well, I obviously picked the bus driver with raging PMS, as the reply I got back was, "does it say Express anywhere on this bus?" which was said with more attitude than I can convey. Listen lady, I am not sure you know who you are messing with but don't start with me otherwise its going to be a long mile home!!! The bus continues on and we get to the next stop and I decide that in a future blog I am going to need to add to my bus rules cause another piece of etiquette got manhandled. I am sitting there and I see this person (its the bus, I cannot determine gender on a regular basis) just tugging on the cord which you pull to alert the driver that the next stop is needed. I look up and the light is on indicating that the cord had been pulled, yet this person keeps tugging. Umm, pulling the cord harder isn't going to make the bus stop any faster. Its like the people who continuously hit the elevator buttons...it does nothing but annoy people. I then heae the person yell, "Next Stop". Dude! I wouldn't want to piss off this particular bus driver and I am pretty sure that she will stop at the next stop...chill out! Trust me, we all want to get off the bus!!
At the next stop, this woman breaks one of my rules and gets on the bus before the rest of the people get off. It was classic!! This bus driver proceeds to go, "now why would you get on when the rest of the people haven't gotten off?!" Bus driver you might have redeemed yourself!! Dumb lady of course sits right next to me when there are a gazillion seats available. Sometimes I think the fact that I look normal and clean hurts me. Then a wheelchair lady gets on the bus with one of those motorized wheelchairs. I look and this lady has been on the bus before sans wheelchair. Am I seriously missing something?! Is Seattle just the laziest city out there? The bus driver proceeds to get mad at her too. This driver is on a rampage!!! The bus continues and this wheelchair lady proceeds to get on the phone (another rule broken!) and talk about how her insurance is dropping her and something about doctor appointments and basically starts crying...WAY TOO MUCH!! Pull yourself together lady, this is the bus not a therapist's office...personal calls like that should be confined to your residence.
Normally, when I leave the bus, I always say Thank You. My parents always instilled the importance of manners and I am usually grateful that I got to my destination in one piece. Guess who didn't get a thank you today...like I said, don't mess with me!! :)
BONUS TRAIN STORY
So I am in line to get my boarding pass in Portland to head home from a wonderful Christmas break. As I am standing in line, I realize that I left my kindle in my suitcase which they made me check. I say, under my breath, "shit". All of a sudden the person in front of me turns around and she says, "do you need me to hold your spot for you" A couple of things to note here:
1. This woman has not a tooth in her mouth and what appear to be meth sores on her face and she reeks of cigarette smoke
2. How did she know that I needed my spot saved?
Regardless (or Irregardless :)), it was a very nice gesture and I got my kindle and she saved my spot. That is where I thought/wanted our conversation should have ended. She proceeds to ask me multiple questions about checking luggage, how long it takes, and some other things...without teeth it was hard to understand. She then asks me to save her spot while she goes to finish her cigarette. I see why you wanted me to save your spot, you wanted me to do the same for you...well played. I do and as she is gone I begin to realize that the people you are standing in line with are usually the ones that you sit next too (just a little heads up if you ever take the train). Sheer panic sits in!! What if I get stuck sitting next to her? Regardless of the missing teeth and possible meth sores, she is way to chatty for me and is going to stink to high heaven of cigarette smoke!! I get enough of this on the bus and just start praying that I don't get stuck to her. I try to give the conductor some instructions, but then an old man fell and well, I was just thrown a seat. I start walking to the train and I am about to have an anxiety attack. She gets on my car and the praying intensifies: PLEASE DO NT BE SEATED NEXT TO ME!!! She calls out her number as she obviously can't read the bold numbers that go in numeric order above the seats and she is not right next to me...thank Jesus!! but she is seated behind me which she points out and is excited about. A poor old man gets stuck sitting next to her, but they turn out to be quite the pair and even more annoying than I could have asked. The entire trip, he proceeds to give her a history lesson on Washington. "This is where the first train in WA was" "At the turn of the century, blah blah blah". I am trying to sleep and could give a rip about the history of Centralia. My new bff was just replying back with a bunch of 'aint's', 'swells', and other grammatically incorrect words. The worst was in Tacoma, the history buff must have said the word TACOMA 6 times in a very loud voice and the guy next to me goes, "What city are we in?" Umm, hello...pretty sure the guy behind us just told you that. I reply, "tacoma". He says, "oh this is Coma...it's beautiful" A couple of things:
1. You had no idea where you were yet you feel comfortable enough to give the city a nickname? Not sure that you and Tacoma are that close yet, buddy.
2. Beautiful?
My bff at this point every 5 minutes asks how much further and that she is so excited and anxious to get there...literally every 5 minutes. You and me both sister...if I have to hear you say that one more time, I am going to lose it.
Monday, December 20, 2010
I did not miss the bus
I must say, it was such a nice break to be in Denver last week for work...mainly, cause I did not have to deal with the bus folk!!!
So I was in a great mood when I left work and leave it to the bus to change that! I get on the bus and find a seat...at first, I was optimistic as there werent too many odd people on the bus. Of course that only lasted one stop. The bus stops and on enters a woman with a dog. I use the term dog loosely as I am pretty sure it could best be categorized as a bear. This thing was HUGE and, as it was not a guide dog, did not belong on the bus. I mean she sits down and the dog takes up the whole aisle...rude and I have a new rule to add. I also look closer at this dog and as I am pretty sure that this is a giant Akita (at that moment the lady confirmed my suspicions). Awesome, not only is this dog huge, but it is a breed that we wont write on a homeowners policy as it can get feisty. I am not wanting to see a tweeker vs. akita fight today...that would be too much on a Monday.
Next, a woman walks on the bus and it is apparent that she is a few cards short of a full deck. She is barely walking down the aisle and picks a seat right next to me. Now, in my time on the bus, I have smelled a variety of smells - urine, body odor, marijuana, rotten food, smoke, and any combo of them. However, this woman takes it to a whole new level. I swear the smell of stale cigarette smoke that was wafting off of her could have knocked me over. It literally smells like not only does she smoke in her clothes, but she also washes her clothes with used ashtrays. I had to cover my nose with my scarf. Thanks lady for ending my Monday with a headache...loves it!
So I was in a great mood when I left work and leave it to the bus to change that! I get on the bus and find a seat...at first, I was optimistic as there werent too many odd people on the bus. Of course that only lasted one stop. The bus stops and on enters a woman with a dog. I use the term dog loosely as I am pretty sure it could best be categorized as a bear. This thing was HUGE and, as it was not a guide dog, did not belong on the bus. I mean she sits down and the dog takes up the whole aisle...rude and I have a new rule to add. I also look closer at this dog and as I am pretty sure that this is a giant Akita (at that moment the lady confirmed my suspicions). Awesome, not only is this dog huge, but it is a breed that we wont write on a homeowners policy as it can get feisty. I am not wanting to see a tweeker vs. akita fight today...that would be too much on a Monday.
Next, a woman walks on the bus and it is apparent that she is a few cards short of a full deck. She is barely walking down the aisle and picks a seat right next to me. Now, in my time on the bus, I have smelled a variety of smells - urine, body odor, marijuana, rotten food, smoke, and any combo of them. However, this woman takes it to a whole new level. I swear the smell of stale cigarette smoke that was wafting off of her could have knocked me over. It literally smells like not only does she smoke in her clothes, but she also washes her clothes with used ashtrays. I had to cover my nose with my scarf. Thanks lady for ending my Monday with a headache...loves it!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I will have trouble sleeping...
Well today's bus ride was not a disappointment. I swear I do not know where these people come from or where they are going...its actually frightening.
As we were pulling away from a stop I hear what has got to be the most awful sounding voice ever say, "You need to let me off this bus!" Now, you have to imagine that being said in a drunk, slurred, old lady, 3 packs a day, voice...nails on a chalkboard. I have been a bus rider now for over a year and I know that someone demanding to be let off the bus cannot be a good thing. As I turn around to take a peak at this songbird, I am not even prepared for what I see. She is sitting on the floor of the bus facing the back. Good Lord...this is not going to end well. She keeps insisting that she get off the bus. Yeah lady, like getting off the bus is your biggest problem. She then proceeds to lie down on the bus!!! What the hell is going on?! Now, at this point, there are other people around trying to help her up and the bus driver is not even really paying attention and keeps driving. I cannot help but watch this train wreck, plus I am dying to know what the front of this person looks like! She grants my wish and turns around. Holy Moly folks...this is one from my nightmares. Her eyes are open at different levels, she has that leathery skin, her hair has not been washed/brushed in at least 6 months, and I am pretty sure she has been drunk since Jimmy Carter was in office....bottom line, there has not been a happy hour in Seattle that this one has missed. I literally gasped. She continues to struggle and it takes 3 people to help her off the bus. She ping-pongs her way down the aisle to the door forgetting her bag of course and then exiting. Umm, what is she going to do when she exits...she is now leashed out upon the city of Seattle....eh, I guarantee there are worse out there than Drunk Mary.
As we were pulling away from a stop I hear what has got to be the most awful sounding voice ever say, "You need to let me off this bus!" Now, you have to imagine that being said in a drunk, slurred, old lady, 3 packs a day, voice...nails on a chalkboard. I have been a bus rider now for over a year and I know that someone demanding to be let off the bus cannot be a good thing. As I turn around to take a peak at this songbird, I am not even prepared for what I see. She is sitting on the floor of the bus facing the back. Good Lord...this is not going to end well. She keeps insisting that she get off the bus. Yeah lady, like getting off the bus is your biggest problem. She then proceeds to lie down on the bus!!! What the hell is going on?! Now, at this point, there are other people around trying to help her up and the bus driver is not even really paying attention and keeps driving. I cannot help but watch this train wreck, plus I am dying to know what the front of this person looks like! She grants my wish and turns around. Holy Moly folks...this is one from my nightmares. Her eyes are open at different levels, she has that leathery skin, her hair has not been washed/brushed in at least 6 months, and I am pretty sure she has been drunk since Jimmy Carter was in office....bottom line, there has not been a happy hour in Seattle that this one has missed. I literally gasped. She continues to struggle and it takes 3 people to help her off the bus. She ping-pongs her way down the aisle to the door forgetting her bag of course and then exiting. Umm, what is she going to do when she exits...she is now leashed out upon the city of Seattle....eh, I guarantee there are worse out there than Drunk Mary.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Antique
So just as a heads up, this week's posts are going to be short and sweet (kinda like me!) as work is busy and my brain might not survive...plus, it gives me more time to drink wine!
Today's bus ride was not that interesting except for a few gems:
1. There was a blatant rule breaker today...a guy on his cell phone! Now, normally when people get on the phone they usually try to at least whisper, but not this guy!! Holy crap, I swear he was basically yelling on the phone and it was an annoying conversation. Rule breaker: "Do you know where the ships are in Ballard?...do you know Market St. in Ballard?...do you know where Ivars is in Ballard?" Dude, how many questions do you need to ask to figure out that the person on the other line does not know anything about Ballard?!?!??! And really, lets cut to the chase so you can stop yelling on the phone as no one is enjoying it. He was also not receptive to me saying "shut up" out loud...he probably couldnt hear me over his own voice...self serve
2. There was a guy on the bus that was listening to music and nodding his head like he was listening to some good hip-hop music. This alone is not weird as I can also be seen doing this if in the right mood, however, what he was listening to was weird. He pulled out a tape player!!! A tape player?!?! Good lord, where does one even get that? If it is original, this guy takes VERY good care of his things...it was in pristine condition. Props to you Dude...I get shocked when I see a Discman...well played, well played. I thought tape players went out with Laserdiscs and Scrunchies!
Time for Vino!!
Today's bus ride was not that interesting except for a few gems:
1. There was a blatant rule breaker today...a guy on his cell phone! Now, normally when people get on the phone they usually try to at least whisper, but not this guy!! Holy crap, I swear he was basically yelling on the phone and it was an annoying conversation. Rule breaker: "Do you know where the ships are in Ballard?...do you know Market St. in Ballard?...do you know where Ivars is in Ballard?" Dude, how many questions do you need to ask to figure out that the person on the other line does not know anything about Ballard?!?!??! And really, lets cut to the chase so you can stop yelling on the phone as no one is enjoying it. He was also not receptive to me saying "shut up" out loud...he probably couldnt hear me over his own voice...self serve
2. There was a guy on the bus that was listening to music and nodding his head like he was listening to some good hip-hop music. This alone is not weird as I can also be seen doing this if in the right mood, however, what he was listening to was weird. He pulled out a tape player!!! A tape player?!?! Good lord, where does one even get that? If it is original, this guy takes VERY good care of his things...it was in pristine condition. Props to you Dude...I get shocked when I see a Discman...well played, well played. I thought tape players went out with Laserdiscs and Scrunchies!
Time for Vino!!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wheelin' and Dealin'
I got a little nervous on the bus today, well I guess I get nervous every day on the bus:) I got on and everyone seemed normal. I thought I wouldnt have anything to share, but luckily we stopped and this pair got on:
Where do I begin?! So this woman first gets on and is one of those "I can walk, but I am waaaay to lazy to do it so I use a walker" people. We have to wait for the bus driver to lower the wheelchair lift and get her ass on it. She then proceeds to sit down and her walker is flying everywhere and hitting people and she barely moves...I really dont understand why people dont have common sense and/or manners. So the "gentleman" sits down next to her and I have to assume that they know each other as they start conversing. She sounds like she is about 6 deep and he sounds like he is about 12 deep and smoked 8 packs of cigarettes just today. I immediately tune in as this is going to be good. They start chatting and she advises him that in January, they are going to lose their dental/health/vision insurance. Umm...lets review:
1. She hasnt been to the dentist in 13 years as you could kick a field goal through the space on the side of her mouth.
2. She is so overweight that she requires a walker...pretty sure her Dr. didnt put her on "The Eat McDonalds For Every Meal" diet
3. He is wearing sunglasses on the bus on an overcast day...I am going to assume he isnt rolling with 20/20 vision
I dont think losing your insurance is going to be the worst thing that happens to you. As I am thinking this, the reason she is so upset about the insurance becomes VERY clear. She pulls out 2 pill bottles, he pulls out $13 and they start negotiating. He says he will give her $10 more tomorrow, she says just give her $5 now...and BAM...drug deal on the bus!!! She needs the insurance to keep business running. I gotcha...she is just an entrepreneur with a walker. She then proceeded to go over her grocery list (she will be getting green tea in case anyone was wondering) and I think that she saw me looking at them as she said the rest in behind her hand. Yes, lady..exchange money for prescription pills right out in the open, but dont let me know that you are going to be getting toilet paper...sure
P.S Please take note of the items in and on her walker...wtf?!
Where do I begin?! So this woman first gets on and is one of those "I can walk, but I am waaaay to lazy to do it so I use a walker" people. We have to wait for the bus driver to lower the wheelchair lift and get her ass on it. She then proceeds to sit down and her walker is flying everywhere and hitting people and she barely moves...I really dont understand why people dont have common sense and/or manners. So the "gentleman" sits down next to her and I have to assume that they know each other as they start conversing. She sounds like she is about 6 deep and he sounds like he is about 12 deep and smoked 8 packs of cigarettes just today. I immediately tune in as this is going to be good. They start chatting and she advises him that in January, they are going to lose their dental/health/vision insurance. Umm...lets review:
1. She hasnt been to the dentist in 13 years as you could kick a field goal through the space on the side of her mouth.
2. She is so overweight that she requires a walker...pretty sure her Dr. didnt put her on "The Eat McDonalds For Every Meal" diet
3. He is wearing sunglasses on the bus on an overcast day...I am going to assume he isnt rolling with 20/20 vision
I dont think losing your insurance is going to be the worst thing that happens to you. As I am thinking this, the reason she is so upset about the insurance becomes VERY clear. She pulls out 2 pill bottles, he pulls out $13 and they start negotiating. He says he will give her $10 more tomorrow, she says just give her $5 now...and BAM...drug deal on the bus!!! She needs the insurance to keep business running. I gotcha...she is just an entrepreneur with a walker. She then proceeded to go over her grocery list (she will be getting green tea in case anyone was wondering) and I think that she saw me looking at them as she said the rest in behind her hand. Yes, lady..exchange money for prescription pills right out in the open, but dont let me know that you are going to be getting toilet paper...sure
P.S Please take note of the items in and on her walker...wtf?!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
The Worms
I know its been a long time since I blogged, but with the snow/ice, Thanksgiving, and my crazy week this week...today was the first time I was on the bus!
Today was a very good bus day! In the sense that I walked out of my office door and the bus pulled up right then. That is really the only joy that can come from my bus ride. I get on the bus and right away notice a guy sitting on the sideways facing seats that has turned the top portion of his body and is holding onto a metal bar for dear life! Calm down dude, this is not a roller coaster...we wont be taking any plunging drops or corkscrew turns, we will literally be driving in a straight line at 20mph...I think you will live!
As I sit down across from a couple of the usual suspects (not Keyser Soze) and proceed to over hear a lovely convo. First, let me tell you about these guys. Gentleman 1 has 5 teeth total in his mouth and is brown baggin' it on the bus...sure Gentleman 2 has 5 chunks of hair on his head and all 5 are standing straight up...he obviously stuck his finger in an electric socket today. He also glasses on that are about 1/4 inch thick and is in a Canadian tuxedo...super. So 2 turns to 1 and says, "It took me 3 hours at the department of licensing to get an ID card." Now, I am pretty sure that they do not know each other as 2 got on the bus with me, but hey, I am all for making friends. I am also VERY glad that this guy is not allowed to get behind the wheel between the glasses and his mental state, the streets of WA are much safer. 2 then begins to start ranting about something else that I cannot understand, but I do make out this gem: "If Seattle is the apple city, then everyone on this bus are the worms" Ummm...wtf does that mean? First of all genius, Seattle is the Emerald City if you are trying to sound intelligent, but even so that makes little to no sense and how did you Even 1 looked at him and said, "dont say that". When you get served by a guy with 5 teeth who is boozin' on the bus, you have hit a new low.
Today was a very good bus day! In the sense that I walked out of my office door and the bus pulled up right then. That is really the only joy that can come from my bus ride. I get on the bus and right away notice a guy sitting on the sideways facing seats that has turned the top portion of his body and is holding onto a metal bar for dear life! Calm down dude, this is not a roller coaster...we wont be taking any plunging drops or corkscrew turns, we will literally be driving in a straight line at 20mph...I think you will live!
As I sit down across from a couple of the usual suspects (not Keyser Soze) and proceed to over hear a lovely convo. First, let me tell you about these guys. Gentleman 1 has 5 teeth total in his mouth and is brown baggin' it on the bus...sure Gentleman 2 has 5 chunks of hair on his head and all 5 are standing straight up...he obviously stuck his finger in an electric socket today. He also glasses on that are about 1/4 inch thick and is in a Canadian tuxedo...super. So 2 turns to 1 and says, "It took me 3 hours at the department of licensing to get an ID card." Now, I am pretty sure that they do not know each other as 2 got on the bus with me, but hey, I am all for making friends. I am also VERY glad that this guy is not allowed to get behind the wheel between the glasses and his mental state, the streets of WA are much safer. 2 then begins to start ranting about something else that I cannot understand, but I do make out this gem: "If Seattle is the apple city, then everyone on this bus are the worms" Ummm...wtf does that mean? First of all genius, Seattle is the Emerald City if you are trying to sound intelligent, but even so that makes little to no sense and how did you Even 1 looked at him and said, "dont say that". When you get served by a guy with 5 teeth who is boozin' on the bus, you have hit a new low.
Friday, November 19, 2010
The Laws of Physics
This is going to be a quick one...twss
So I am sitting on the bus today...its not very full, many open seats. At our first stop the cutest little old lady gets on the bus. I think she is adorable until the lady sits right next to me basically on my lap. Umm, I know you are old, but your jacket is wet and there are 50 other seats on the bus. Plus, now I know its been a while since you had a physics lesson, but 2 people cannot occupy the same space. I am a friend of the elderly, but on the bus you are fair game. I move to another seat that has plenty of room around it.
The bus stops again and a gentleman gets on the bus and proceeds to sit RIGHT next to me. I mean really people?! I know I am one of the more showered people on the bus, but give a girl some room! This guy was way worse then the old lady as he reeked of cigarette smoke...ugh. Let me also see if I can do this guy some justice: white jeans, a wool members only jacket, an Indiana Jones hat WITH feathers, and leather gloves. I cant decide if he is a retired pedophile or one in training...either way, sick.
So along with Johnny Pedophile enters another dude. Now, he is sporting a wicked Canadian Tuxedo along with a bandanna that had marijuana leaves all over it and 'One Love' written across it. The bandanna was holding back his sweet curls and I am pretty sure he has never missed a meal, if you catch my drift. I mean, he was straight out of GQ (I am such a bitch, I know). He was sitting across from me and kept looking at me (from different angles mind you) and smiling creepily whilst squeezing his had that was on his lap. I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING WITH MY IMAGE IN HIS HEAD. :::shudder::: I dont think there are enough showers.
Now, time to go enjoy some wine to rid my mind Johnny Pedophile and Stoner Sleaze.
Happy Friday!!!!
So I am sitting on the bus today...its not very full, many open seats. At our first stop the cutest little old lady gets on the bus. I think she is adorable until the lady sits right next to me basically on my lap. Umm, I know you are old, but your jacket is wet and there are 50 other seats on the bus. Plus, now I know its been a while since you had a physics lesson, but 2 people cannot occupy the same space. I am a friend of the elderly, but on the bus you are fair game. I move to another seat that has plenty of room around it.
The bus stops again and a gentleman gets on the bus and proceeds to sit RIGHT next to me. I mean really people?! I know I am one of the more showered people on the bus, but give a girl some room! This guy was way worse then the old lady as he reeked of cigarette smoke...ugh. Let me also see if I can do this guy some justice: white jeans, a wool members only jacket, an Indiana Jones hat WITH feathers, and leather gloves. I cant decide if he is a retired pedophile or one in training...either way, sick.
So along with Johnny Pedophile enters another dude. Now, he is sporting a wicked Canadian Tuxedo along with a bandanna that had marijuana leaves all over it and 'One Love' written across it. The bandanna was holding back his sweet curls and I am pretty sure he has never missed a meal, if you catch my drift. I mean, he was straight out of GQ (I am such a bitch, I know). He was sitting across from me and kept looking at me (from different angles mind you) and smiling creepily whilst squeezing his had that was on his lap. I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING WITH MY IMAGE IN HIS HEAD. :::shudder::: I dont think there are enough showers.
Now, time to go enjoy some wine to rid my mind Johnny Pedophile and Stoner Sleaze.
Happy Friday!!!!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tidbits
So there are no real stories from today's bus so I will just give you some highlights of the gems that were riding with me. Try not to be too jealous that I am surrounded by such upstanding folk.
I cant believe that we are just in the start of the bad weather...way too many bus rides in my future
- Dude entered the bus that that clearly hadn't showered or washed his clothes since the Reagan administration and proceeded to sit down and open a coloring book to read. That is not a typo...he was reading his coloring book. Sure. There are too many comments/jokes/questions with this and not enough wine in the world that will make me.
- Man entered the bus holding his cane...not using it, leaning on it, or walking with it. Please refer to the previous blog about fake wheelchair dude - my thoughts on a fake cane are the same. Stupid
- Woman enters the bus and sits right next to me. Now, this is not really a problem except for the fact that there are a gazillion other seats open! Why must you sit RIGHT next to me?! I might need to amend my rules
- Man enters the bus carrying a small child. This guy smells like he has been smoking 12 packs an hour...I am sure that is just great for the small child's developing lungs buddy. He then looks at me and I am pretty sure that he is not all there upstairs. I do not realize this till I stand to leave the bus...I am concerned. What is he doing with a child unattended? Is it his child? Did I witness a kidnapping?!
I cant believe that we are just in the start of the bad weather...way too many bus rides in my future
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Starting young...
Today's bus ride was actually pretty cute at first. This father and daughter got on the bus. They are regulars and I have seen them often. The little girl is just adorable-dressed all in pink with pink rain boots! She looks at her dad and says, "Daddy I love you". [Insert melting heart]. The dad replies with the appropriate "I love you too". Without missing a beat, the little girl goes "Can I have some candy?". Now, I know when a little girl knows how to work her father and can spot it from a mile away (I may have a little experience in that :) ) The dad says that when they get off the bus she can have some candy and with the biggest eyes and sweetest voice the little girl goes "but I love you Daddy" That is a pro right there and that father is in for some serious trouble!! I am sure my dad can attest to that! :)
As I am enjoying this adorable moment, it is quickly ruined by some nasty person on the bus (the gender is unclear to me at this point) who turns to the little girl and asks "is that your daddy?" No dumb ass, the guy's name is Daddy and the girl was just addressing him by his first name. The girl is legitimately scared of this he/she and retreats into her dad's coat. Good work he/she...way to scare a child!! The he/she kept trying to spark a conversation with this girl...umm, creeptastic! I am glad that even a 5 year old can spot the weirdos...when you live in downtown Seattle, it's a much needed trait!
As I am enjoying this adorable moment, it is quickly ruined by some nasty person on the bus (the gender is unclear to me at this point) who turns to the little girl and asks "is that your daddy?" No dumb ass, the guy's name is Daddy and the girl was just addressing him by his first name. The girl is legitimately scared of this he/she and retreats into her dad's coat. Good work he/she...way to scare a child!! The he/she kept trying to spark a conversation with this girl...umm, creeptastic! I am glad that even a 5 year old can spot the weirdos...when you live in downtown Seattle, it's a much needed trait!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Random objects
It was definitely a Monday today and a windy one too!!
So today's adventure actually started on my bus to work. Now, there are not that many characters on the bus to work...mainly as it is going into crazy town. At my second stop, a gentleman got on the bus carrying two items: an apple and a golf club. I was not too concerned with the apple as I figured it was breakfast, but the golf club was concerning. There are not, to my knowledge, any driving ranges in the city nor where this bus ends. What the eff was this dude doing with a single golf club? Let me also say that this dude had one wicked pinky ring and a Kangol hat on...not the typical dude you would see on the back 9. I wanted to ask him if he was working on his swing somewhere or if he was going to use it to 'persuade' someone, but then I wised up and remembered that this dude is carrying a nine iron!
My evening bus was far more interesting. I got on the bus to find that one of the bus rules was being broken and broken blatantly. This woman was on the bus with a freaking cooler! I mean, really?! Not only was there a cooler, but the broad had a backpack AND a dolly with crap on it. Why on earth would you need to haul around that much crap?? And I am not talking like a computer bag or anything that looked like it pertained to any form of employment, I am talking crap. And really lady, what do you need to keep cold on the bus? Due to this lady's rule breaking, I get stuck sitting next to this stinky dude with a 'beard'. I use the term beard loosely as he just had random long hairs in the shape of a beard...we're talking like maybe 20 long hairs around his mouth. ::::shudder::::
To end my bus experience, I proceed to be given attitude by some lady. I stand up, as my stop is approaching, to let someone sit in my seat. I know, I know...I am too nice. As I am standing up waiting for the stop, this pushy broad comes up behind me and yells, "you know its rude to stand when there are seats behind you" Back off lady...if you were paying attention, I got up to give my seat to someone else AND standing on the bus is perfectly acceptable. Please dont try to make up rules, you are not the fake wheelchair dude and you for sure do not want to mess with me as my response, with as much attitude as I can muster, of "I am getting off at the next stop, good Lord" showed. I do not take well to be given unnecessary attitude in general but especially not whilst on the nasty, smelly, dirty bus. Take note
So today's adventure actually started on my bus to work. Now, there are not that many characters on the bus to work...mainly as it is going into crazy town. At my second stop, a gentleman got on the bus carrying two items: an apple and a golf club. I was not too concerned with the apple as I figured it was breakfast, but the golf club was concerning. There are not, to my knowledge, any driving ranges in the city nor where this bus ends. What the eff was this dude doing with a single golf club? Let me also say that this dude had one wicked pinky ring and a Kangol hat on...not the typical dude you would see on the back 9. I wanted to ask him if he was working on his swing somewhere or if he was going to use it to 'persuade' someone, but then I wised up and remembered that this dude is carrying a nine iron!
My evening bus was far more interesting. I got on the bus to find that one of the bus rules was being broken and broken blatantly. This woman was on the bus with a freaking cooler! I mean, really?! Not only was there a cooler, but the broad had a backpack AND a dolly with crap on it. Why on earth would you need to haul around that much crap?? And I am not talking like a computer bag or anything that looked like it pertained to any form of employment, I am talking crap. And really lady, what do you need to keep cold on the bus? Due to this lady's rule breaking, I get stuck sitting next to this stinky dude with a 'beard'. I use the term beard loosely as he just had random long hairs in the shape of a beard...we're talking like maybe 20 long hairs around his mouth. ::::shudder::::
To end my bus experience, I proceed to be given attitude by some lady. I stand up, as my stop is approaching, to let someone sit in my seat. I know, I know...I am too nice. As I am standing up waiting for the stop, this pushy broad comes up behind me and yells, "you know its rude to stand when there are seats behind you" Back off lady...if you were paying attention, I got up to give my seat to someone else AND standing on the bus is perfectly acceptable. Please dont try to make up rules, you are not the fake wheelchair dude and you for sure do not want to mess with me as my response, with as much attitude as I can muster, of "I am getting off at the next stop, good Lord" showed. I do not take well to be given unnecessary attitude in general but especially not whilst on the nasty, smelly, dirty bus. Take note
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Seriously?!
This post is going to be short, sweet, and sort of judgey just to give you a heads up. If you choose not to continue on reading, I wont be offended. Please note that the judgeyness comes off of a long day at work, the fact that it is only Wednesday and not Friday, and that I do not have a self-cleaning apartment. It wont stay long I promise
So, and this will not come as a surprise to anyone, but I truly loathe the bus. I do not understand where some of these people come from and where they learned that showering is not an option. I know, I know that these people fell on tough times, had a rough life, etc, and I should be sympathetic, but its so hard to deal with especially in such a close proximity like the bus.
Case in point: I got on the bus and in the sideways facing seats was a woman who was sitting towards the front with her legs on the seat. Really?! Please refer to the last blog post and see the rules...your legs are just as bad, if not worse, than a briefcase or bag. Now, this woman probably hasnt had a tooth in her mouth since 1990 and proceeded to do that lip smacking, tongue sticking out thing...very attractive. Her odor is wafting through the bus and she is wearing a members only jacket with an adorable neon shirt circa 1989. So we stop and the bus driver asks her to move as there is someone coming on the bus and her not-so-small ass is in the handicap seats. This gem actually throws a fit about it and gives the bus driver lip!! Seriously?! You get the ease of using your legs lady and you cant move your ass 2 feet to let another human on the bus? Awesome...thanks for being such an upstanding citizen. I hope you are around with a bottle of water if I ever catch on fire. The wheelchair guy gets off the bus and it is the fake wheelchair guy from last blog post. I cant win
So, and this will not come as a surprise to anyone, but I truly loathe the bus. I do not understand where some of these people come from and where they learned that showering is not an option. I know, I know that these people fell on tough times, had a rough life, etc, and I should be sympathetic, but its so hard to deal with especially in such a close proximity like the bus.
Case in point: I got on the bus and in the sideways facing seats was a woman who was sitting towards the front with her legs on the seat. Really?! Please refer to the last blog post and see the rules...your legs are just as bad, if not worse, than a briefcase or bag. Now, this woman probably hasnt had a tooth in her mouth since 1990 and proceeded to do that lip smacking, tongue sticking out thing...very attractive. Her odor is wafting through the bus and she is wearing a members only jacket with an adorable neon shirt circa 1989. So we stop and the bus driver asks her to move as there is someone coming on the bus and her not-so-small ass is in the handicap seats. This gem actually throws a fit about it and gives the bus driver lip!! Seriously?! You get the ease of using your legs lady and you cant move your ass 2 feet to let another human on the bus? Awesome...thanks for being such an upstanding citizen. I hope you are around with a bottle of water if I ever catch on fire. The wheelchair guy gets off the bus and it is the fake wheelchair guy from last blog post. I cant win
Monday, November 8, 2010
This is going to be a doozy...
Ok this is going to be a long one as I need to blog about Fridays bus ride so I would grab a comfy seat and pour yourself a glass of wine before you start this one! I also had a bad day so if this appears a little extra bitchy...just deal with it:)
I will start with today's lovely bus ride. Now, when you ride the bus, there is a certain etiquette that needs to be followed. It's an unspoken etiquette...when you first start riding the bus, they dont hand you a rule book, but I think they should start. The rules are in place to keep the bus on time and the rest of us sane. Along the mile long bus ride, almost all of the rules were broken! I will pass the rules onto all of you so that in case you have to ride the bus, you wont have people blogging about you!!
Rule 1: Do not board the bus until all those exiting are off the bus. Of course today some yahoo who was clearly too anxious to get on (I mean, I cant blame him...the bus is a thrill! I need a sarcasm font) so those exiting had to back up to let this guy on which just wasted time
Rule 2: When you are in the ride free zone, you dont have to pay. Three people today stopped at the card swiper and tried to pay. Thanks for holding up the bus guys as the bus driver has to go into the whole explanation that its the ride free and you have to pay as you leave...and really, I am so sick of hearing this and if you ride the bus enough to have the card, you should know better.
Rule 3: Dont ask stupid questions. I agree, this is more of a life rule and should encompass all things not just the bus. This guy boards the bus and asks if it is going to Blue Ridge. It says right on the front of the bus Blue Ridge. I wanted to say, "no dude, we arent going to Blue Ridge...its eff with you Monday. King County Metro has one hell of a sense of humor"
Rule 4: Do not talk loudly on your cell phone. The Blue Ridge guy then proceeds to sit down and yell on his cell phone. I am pretty sure the back of the bus knows that he is meeting someone today at 630 for dinner.
Rule 5: Do not put purses or other bags on the seat next to you. There is seriously nothing more annoying that getting on a crowded bus and some douche has his briefcase and other bag on the seat. Really A-hole, your bag needs that seat more than a person? Winner
Rule 6: If you are sitting in the handicapped seats, you move when someone in a wheelchair needs them. Now, no one broke this rule, but I am pretty sure that Seattle might be the laziest city. The wheelchair person got on and proceeded to roll himself down with his legs and stood up to get the chair in the correct position. Umm, a wheelchair is for those who have had the awful misfortune of losing the ability to walk, not for those who are too lazy to walk!
Those are the rules and if everyone could stick to those, the bus might be somewhat tolerable.
So we were almost to my stop, a few guys boarded the bus and there was no seats so they had to stand. One of them had his back pack on and when he turned, it gently hit the fake wheelchair dude. The backpack guy apologized. Fake wheelchair dude then proceeded to tell the backpack guy one of his own rules.
Fake Rule 1: When you board the bus, it is polite to remove your backpack. Um, when there is no place to set your backpack down i.e your lap, and no place to remove the backpack, and you have to stand, it is best to leave it on. Do not try to make up rules for your own convenience wheelchair dude. If you were sitting in the seat and not your wheelchair like you should have been, the backpack would have never touched you.
Thank god I got off at the next stop as, when I was exiting the bus, the wheelchair dude said "we live in a society..." I didnt hear the rest thankfully, as a bus is no place to get on a soapbox. No one on the bus gives a rip of your thoughts and views...we all just want to get home.
Fridays Bus Fiasco
So I get on the bus and there is a woman sitting across from me with a box on the seat next to her (please refer to rule 5). I think nothing of this till she opens her mouth. She is missing one of her front teeth and the corresponding two bottom teeth...it looked like a coin slot. Fine, she had poor dental care growing up, it happens. She then proceeds to tell the story of the box to the guy kitty corner from her. She said, "I had to pick up this for my brother...no one else can get it...its drugs (said in her version of a whisper). My brother is so irresponsible that I have to get it and take it home. He is in jail...again" Ok, there are so many things that I want to ask her! What kind of drugs? Did he tell you there were drugs? Why are you picking up mail drugs for your jail bird brother? What is he in jail for? Can you fit a 50cent piece in your mouth slot? I then remember that I am on the crazy bus and there was probably nothing in the box and her "brother" was just another voice in her head.
Tomorrow will be a better day...until I get on the bus.
I will start with today's lovely bus ride. Now, when you ride the bus, there is a certain etiquette that needs to be followed. It's an unspoken etiquette...when you first start riding the bus, they dont hand you a rule book, but I think they should start. The rules are in place to keep the bus on time and the rest of us sane. Along the mile long bus ride, almost all of the rules were broken! I will pass the rules onto all of you so that in case you have to ride the bus, you wont have people blogging about you!!
Rule 1: Do not board the bus until all those exiting are off the bus. Of course today some yahoo who was clearly too anxious to get on (I mean, I cant blame him...the bus is a thrill! I need a sarcasm font) so those exiting had to back up to let this guy on which just wasted time
Rule 2: When you are in the ride free zone, you dont have to pay. Three people today stopped at the card swiper and tried to pay. Thanks for holding up the bus guys as the bus driver has to go into the whole explanation that its the ride free and you have to pay as you leave...and really, I am so sick of hearing this and if you ride the bus enough to have the card, you should know better.
Rule 3: Dont ask stupid questions. I agree, this is more of a life rule and should encompass all things not just the bus. This guy boards the bus and asks if it is going to Blue Ridge. It says right on the front of the bus Blue Ridge. I wanted to say, "no dude, we arent going to Blue Ridge...its eff with you Monday. King County Metro has one hell of a sense of humor"
Rule 4: Do not talk loudly on your cell phone. The Blue Ridge guy then proceeds to sit down and yell on his cell phone. I am pretty sure the back of the bus knows that he is meeting someone today at 630 for dinner.
Rule 5: Do not put purses or other bags on the seat next to you. There is seriously nothing more annoying that getting on a crowded bus and some douche has his briefcase and other bag on the seat. Really A-hole, your bag needs that seat more than a person? Winner
Rule 6: If you are sitting in the handicapped seats, you move when someone in a wheelchair needs them. Now, no one broke this rule, but I am pretty sure that Seattle might be the laziest city. The wheelchair person got on and proceeded to roll himself down with his legs and stood up to get the chair in the correct position. Umm, a wheelchair is for those who have had the awful misfortune of losing the ability to walk, not for those who are too lazy to walk!
Those are the rules and if everyone could stick to those, the bus might be somewhat tolerable.
So we were almost to my stop, a few guys boarded the bus and there was no seats so they had to stand. One of them had his back pack on and when he turned, it gently hit the fake wheelchair dude. The backpack guy apologized. Fake wheelchair dude then proceeded to tell the backpack guy one of his own rules.
Fake Rule 1: When you board the bus, it is polite to remove your backpack. Um, when there is no place to set your backpack down i.e your lap, and no place to remove the backpack, and you have to stand, it is best to leave it on. Do not try to make up rules for your own convenience wheelchair dude. If you were sitting in the seat and not your wheelchair like you should have been, the backpack would have never touched you.
Thank god I got off at the next stop as, when I was exiting the bus, the wheelchair dude said "we live in a society..." I didnt hear the rest thankfully, as a bus is no place to get on a soapbox. No one on the bus gives a rip of your thoughts and views...we all just want to get home.
Fridays Bus Fiasco
So I get on the bus and there is a woman sitting across from me with a box on the seat next to her (please refer to rule 5). I think nothing of this till she opens her mouth. She is missing one of her front teeth and the corresponding two bottom teeth...it looked like a coin slot. Fine, she had poor dental care growing up, it happens. She then proceeds to tell the story of the box to the guy kitty corner from her. She said, "I had to pick up this for my brother...no one else can get it...its drugs (said in her version of a whisper). My brother is so irresponsible that I have to get it and take it home. He is in jail...again" Ok, there are so many things that I want to ask her! What kind of drugs? Did he tell you there were drugs? Why are you picking up mail drugs for your jail bird brother? What is he in jail for? Can you fit a 50cent piece in your mouth slot? I then remember that I am on the crazy bus and there was probably nothing in the box and her "brother" was just another voice in her head.
Tomorrow will be a better day...until I get on the bus.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Happy Thursday
Today was a rare day here in the great city of Seattle - it is gorgeous for the THIRD day in a row and I did not run into any crazies!! I know, I know...take a minute to wrap your brain around that!!
So this probably wont happen too much in this blog as it is not really the point, but just so everyone doesnt get a completely wrong idea about Seattle, I thought I would share a positive experience:)
There are definitely days that I truly love living in downtown Seattle and today was one of them. I walked home under blue sky and sunshine, the leaves on the trees were falling...just gorgeous. I walked home down 1st ave and the smell of pastries coming from Macrina Bakery smelled extra sweet and it really is a test of will power for me not to stop and get a slice of Whisper Cake or a Scottish Oat Cake!! Belltown Pizza's slices smelled extra tempting as well. It could be that I was just really hungry on my walk home! It's also just lovely to walk home and just look to my left and see the beautiful Sound and look to my right and see The Space Needle. Days like this make me appreciate my neighborhood and the beautiful NW. Now, I am sure this will not last long as the next 10 days call for rain which in turn calls for crazies.
For Project Runway Fans:
Think back a few seasons...do you remember the designer Blaine? He liked neon colors and cutting up his clothes? Well, he has a store on my walk home and I saw him painting the store window today...just to share:)
So this probably wont happen too much in this blog as it is not really the point, but just so everyone doesnt get a completely wrong idea about Seattle, I thought I would share a positive experience:)
There are definitely days that I truly love living in downtown Seattle and today was one of them. I walked home under blue sky and sunshine, the leaves on the trees were falling...just gorgeous. I walked home down 1st ave and the smell of pastries coming from Macrina Bakery smelled extra sweet and it really is a test of will power for me not to stop and get a slice of Whisper Cake or a Scottish Oat Cake!! Belltown Pizza's slices smelled extra tempting as well. It could be that I was just really hungry on my walk home! It's also just lovely to walk home and just look to my left and see the beautiful Sound and look to my right and see The Space Needle. Days like this make me appreciate my neighborhood and the beautiful NW. Now, I am sure this will not last long as the next 10 days call for rain which in turn calls for crazies.
For Project Runway Fans:
Think back a few seasons...do you remember the designer Blaine? He liked neon colors and cutting up his clothes? Well, he has a store on my walk home and I saw him painting the store window today...just to share:)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Earth Day
I cannot believe that I walked home in my sunglasses and without a coat on November 3rd...loving this!!!
I am not the only one in Seattle who is enjoying this nice weather. The BB was poppin' with excitement - so many people out and the mood was high! As I approached, a newbie walked up to a tree and placed his head on the tree. I didnt think too much of this...maybe he had a bad day at the office and needed to bang his head against a wall/tree? Maybe the walk to the tree was just too much and he needed a break? As I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, he proceeded onto the next tree and did the same thing. Ok...got it! He is obviously taking advantage of the nice weather and channeling the trees energy...duh Katie, why didnt you think of that in the first place!
As I get closer to home and I am actually getting rather warm when I approach a building that has scaffolding around it. I notice that there is something red moving about in the scaffolding...I know this is going to be good! When I get closer, I see what I can only describe as a washed up, worn down, tired ol' P.I.M.P. I am talking probably the same red velvet suit he was rocking back in 1965 even down to the cane! So when I realize that it is a P.I.M.P I immediately wonder, "what is he doing messing around in the leaves and scaffolding?" He should be working the streets and eyeing broads or whatever washed up, worn down P.I.M.Ps do. I then come to realize he is picking up fallen leaves and putting them in his pocket. Now is he going to do something artistic with them...you know maybe put a piece of paper over and run a crayon over them. Is he doing some early Christmas shopping?
I do respect these guys' appreciation for the beautiful city we live in so I have to respect that!!
FYI:
I know you all have been concerned as I have about ShuffelyJoe. Well, I am happy to report that my coworker Erin did see him yesterday. He somehow shuffled all the way do about 4th and Union which is a pretty good distance from 2nd and Blanchard. You go ShuffelyJoe!!!!
For those of you who have been to Seattle with me and walked around my neighborhood, I have a piece of news. You know the restaurant on 1st ave that we walk by and it has the cheap, colorful plastic tablecloths on the outside tables and I always say that I have never seen anyone in it...well, there was a patron in there today!!! First time I have ever seen that and I have lived in the neighborhood for 21 months!
I am not the only one in Seattle who is enjoying this nice weather. The BB was poppin' with excitement - so many people out and the mood was high! As I approached, a newbie walked up to a tree and placed his head on the tree. I didnt think too much of this...maybe he had a bad day at the office and needed to bang his head against a wall/tree? Maybe the walk to the tree was just too much and he needed a break? As I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, he proceeded onto the next tree and did the same thing. Ok...got it! He is obviously taking advantage of the nice weather and channeling the trees energy...duh Katie, why didnt you think of that in the first place!
As I get closer to home and I am actually getting rather warm when I approach a building that has scaffolding around it. I notice that there is something red moving about in the scaffolding...I know this is going to be good! When I get closer, I see what I can only describe as a washed up, worn down, tired ol' P.I.M.P. I am talking probably the same red velvet suit he was rocking back in 1965 even down to the cane! So when I realize that it is a P.I.M.P I immediately wonder, "what is he doing messing around in the leaves and scaffolding?" He should be working the streets and eyeing broads or whatever washed up, worn down P.I.M.Ps do. I then come to realize he is picking up fallen leaves and putting them in his pocket. Now is he going to do something artistic with them...you know maybe put a piece of paper over and run a crayon over them. Is he doing some early Christmas shopping?
I do respect these guys' appreciation for the beautiful city we live in so I have to respect that!!
FYI:
I know you all have been concerned as I have about ShuffelyJoe. Well, I am happy to report that my coworker Erin did see him yesterday. He somehow shuffled all the way do about 4th and Union which is a pretty good distance from 2nd and Blanchard. You go ShuffelyJoe!!!!
For those of you who have been to Seattle with me and walked around my neighborhood, I have a piece of news. You know the restaurant on 1st ave that we walk by and it has the cheap, colorful plastic tablecloths on the outside tables and I always say that I have never seen anyone in it...well, there was a patron in there today!!! First time I have ever seen that and I have lived in the neighborhood for 21 months!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
The Blanchard Block...
Well today is the type of day that reminds me why I love living in the Northwest...the sun is out, there is blue sky and the leaves are changing...it is BEAUTIFUL here!! To take advantage of this rare November day, I chose to walk home. Do not fear, there are still enough interesting people that I can encounter on my walks:)
I will have to say that the majority of the interesting people that I encounter are on the Blanchard block. I am not sure what is around this block, but there is a very large overhang so I think that it is just an appealing place to hang out. I have walked this block many times and there are definitely some 'regulars'. Now, these are not the type of folks that I would stop and chat with and see if they want to get happy hour...they have their happy hour with them in a paper bag. So as I do not know their formal names, I have proceeded to give them nicknames. I will be introducing the Blanchard Block residents in this from time to time.
The first BB resident to discuss is my favorite- Shuffley-Joe (btw, if you can name the Friends episode from which I adapted that nickname, BONUS POINTS). I actually havent seen him in quite a while and I get worried when I dont see him. He is the sweetest looking man and gets his nickname from the fact that he literally shuffles down the street with a huge smile on his face and claps his hands in perfect rhythm. Fingers crossed that I see him the next few days.
So enough of the sappy stuff. I did see one of the the classic Seattle residents on my walk home. Let me paint the picture for you:
I turn a corner and see a person (not sure from my angle if man or woman) bent over a bag. I think nothing of it till I look closer and see that he/she is wearing pajama pants with candy corns, pumpkins, and ghosts on them with an orange and black do-rag. He/she clearly did not get the memo that Halloween ended a few days ago. He/she has their arms in the bag up to their elbows and proceeds to squat down and let out what I can only describe as a howl...stood up, squatted again and let out a giggle...stood up, squatted down and let out a shriek....the entire time keeping their arms in their bag. Were they exercising? Were they performing an exorcism? Or is that how they communicate with those in their dome? The world may never know...
One of these days, my curiosity is going to get the better of me and I am going to stop and ask what they are doing. I will only do that when there are people around and its light outside, dont worry.
I will have to say that the majority of the interesting people that I encounter are on the Blanchard block. I am not sure what is around this block, but there is a very large overhang so I think that it is just an appealing place to hang out. I have walked this block many times and there are definitely some 'regulars'. Now, these are not the type of folks that I would stop and chat with and see if they want to get happy hour...they have their happy hour with them in a paper bag. So as I do not know their formal names, I have proceeded to give them nicknames. I will be introducing the Blanchard Block residents in this from time to time.
The first BB resident to discuss is my favorite- Shuffley-Joe (btw, if you can name the Friends episode from which I adapted that nickname, BONUS POINTS). I actually havent seen him in quite a while and I get worried when I dont see him. He is the sweetest looking man and gets his nickname from the fact that he literally shuffles down the street with a huge smile on his face and claps his hands in perfect rhythm. Fingers crossed that I see him the next few days.
So enough of the sappy stuff. I did see one of the the classic Seattle residents on my walk home. Let me paint the picture for you:
I turn a corner and see a person (not sure from my angle if man or woman) bent over a bag. I think nothing of it till I look closer and see that he/she is wearing pajama pants with candy corns, pumpkins, and ghosts on them with an orange and black do-rag. He/she clearly did not get the memo that Halloween ended a few days ago. He/she has their arms in the bag up to their elbows and proceeds to squat down and let out what I can only describe as a howl...stood up, squatted again and let out a giggle...stood up, squatted down and let out a shriek....the entire time keeping their arms in their bag. Were they exercising? Were they performing an exorcism? Or is that how they communicate with those in their dome? The world may never know...
One of these days, my curiosity is going to get the better of me and I am going to stop and ask what they are doing. I will only do that when there are people around and its light outside, dont worry.
Monday, November 1, 2010
My job comes in handy...
So as most of you probably know, I am an personal lines insurance underwriter. My work day consists of making rapid fire decisions all day long. As this makes up 8 hours of my day, I hate making decisions when I am off the clock, but I was forced to make a snap decision today on the bus.
I was sitting in the first seat of the bus almost to my stop when 2 gentleman board the bus (I use the term gentlemen loosley). They are in mid conversation as I catch this:
"What a shitty weekend for Washington sports. The Seahawks lose, the Sounders lose, and the Huskies lose"
Now, being the proud Duck fan that I am and self proclaimed smart ass, I go to respond:
"What else is new"
As the words are forming in my mouth, my underwriting abilities kick in as I realize a few things:
1. Before this gentleman boarded the bus, I saw him smoke almost an entire cigarette in 2 drags. That is intense and rather hard core. Pretty sure this guy has been around the block
2. He is wearing a woman's backpack purse. If you have the cahonies to do that, I am sure that you have probably had your fill of snide quips and definitely dont want to hear another one from some blond chick on the bus.
3. However, this guy is VERY small. I am pretty sure that I have about 2 inches on this guy in my flats...I could take him.
I swear as number 3 leaves my brain and I go to make my snide comment, I hear him say:
"I've got a low center of gravity and I am scrappy...I could grab onto someone's ankles and drag them down"
Its like he knew!!! Thank God I know how to make quick decisions. My mouth stayed shut and I proceeded to exit the bus
I was sitting in the first seat of the bus almost to my stop when 2 gentleman board the bus (I use the term gentlemen loosley). They are in mid conversation as I catch this:
"What a shitty weekend for Washington sports. The Seahawks lose, the Sounders lose, and the Huskies lose"
Now, being the proud Duck fan that I am and self proclaimed smart ass, I go to respond:
"What else is new"
As the words are forming in my mouth, my underwriting abilities kick in as I realize a few things:
1. Before this gentleman boarded the bus, I saw him smoke almost an entire cigarette in 2 drags. That is intense and rather hard core. Pretty sure this guy has been around the block
2. He is wearing a woman's backpack purse. If you have the cahonies to do that, I am sure that you have probably had your fill of snide quips and definitely dont want to hear another one from some blond chick on the bus.
3. However, this guy is VERY small. I am pretty sure that I have about 2 inches on this guy in my flats...I could take him.
I swear as number 3 leaves my brain and I go to make my snide comment, I hear him say:
"I've got a low center of gravity and I am scrappy...I could grab onto someone's ankles and drag them down"
Its like he knew!!! Thank God I know how to make quick decisions. My mouth stayed shut and I proceeded to exit the bus
Sunday, October 31, 2010
The Wait is Over..
Well, I have finally started it...the long anticipated Blog about all the crazy things/people I see in the fantastic city of Seattle. In case you are new to my usual Facebook posts, let me fill you in. I live and work in downtown Seattle and when it rains, I take the bus. Now, part of my ride is in the "Free Ride" area so I am sure you can imagine the people that get on my bus. I have started this to be able to fully share what I see. Now, this is not a judgement on these people. I fully understand that most have mental health issuses or drug issues, and this is just to report what I see...you can believe it or not! :) If I can figure out how to post pictures from my cell phone I will and I hope to be able to post a couple times a week. Enjoy!
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