The next Iron Chef...

Yesterday's bus was extra annoying!!  First off, two buses just didn't show up...I mean, doesnt that completely negate the point of a bus?! 

A bus finally arrives and as I enter the bus, I hear a passenger utter the following sentence to the bus driver:

"You should really try Mascarpone...it's wonderful...it's an almond paste"

Ummm...this offends me on 2 levels:

1. As a cook.  First off genius, mascrapone is an Italian cream cheese.  It is a wonderful cheese I will give you that, but in no way, shape or form does it even come close to resembling an almond paste!  WTF?!
2. As a lover of tiramisu.  Mascarpone cheese is the main ingredient in one of my favorite desserts and quite possibly one of the best desserts ever created.  Please show some respect.

I mean, dont try to throw out culinary words there buddy to impress the bus driver, you just look like a total moron.  What was the most interesting about this guy is that he was a total hippie.  I mean, we are talking dirty hair, hemp clothes and sandals.  You need to stick to what you know buddy i.e the wacky tobaccy, patchouli, and hacky sacks.  Leave the culinary terms to the professionals

After dealing with  the next Iron Chef, the bus is stopped at a stop light and a dude starts banging on the bus door.  Now, for those of you that are not savvy to bus rules, a bus driver is only allowed to open the doors at a stop and not in the middle of the street.  That is a real rule, not just one of mine:)  So the bus driver opens the door and lets him on (clearly she is not the sharpest tool in the shed as she accepted that Mascarpone was an almond paste).  This dude walks on the bus and before he gets anywhere near me, I can tell that this guy is going to be a pain:

1. I am pretty sure I got contact drunk from all the booze wafting off him
2. He wont shut up and, please see #1, is slurring his words

The entire time this guy is rambling on about something and I am pretty sure he is talking to people on the busy as I keep hearing him say "baby girl" or "my brother", but no one seems to be responding.  At the next stop another gentleman gets on the bus and asks the bus driver if the bus stops at Virginia (this is another pet peeve of mine...Virginia is literally 2 blocks from the stop this guy got on at...seriously, you have to take the bus for 2 blocks?!).  Drunky McGee from a few rows back keeps advising the guy that it does and finally the guy sits down.  DM keeps trying to talk to this guy who has made it clear that he is not in the mood to make friends ( I can relate).  DM keeps rambling to this guy and somehow gets on the subject of where he is from.  This dude is so wasted that he cant even get out where he is from!!  He starts to say, "Alabam.." and the says, "Albany, Georgia".  Good work, buddy...good work

He then spends the rest of the bus ride talking about how when you live on the streets, the best way to travel is by truck and that truck stops are an easy way to get a truck.  Umm, thanks for the tips DM, but pretty sure we have all seen a movie or heard stories of what you really have to do to get a ride from a truck driver.  Thanks, but no thanks!  I was floored that he got off at the last stop of the ride free area ( I seriously need a sarcasm font).