So the weather has been nice lately so I have walked a couple of days, and I must say, I cannot wait till the weather turns and I get to walk all the time. While the bus folk are interesting and slightly crazy, the people on the street can be equally as entertaining if not more so! Plus, on the street you get to hear all the yelling from people and the ranting and raving that can be missed while sitting in the comforts of the bus. However, the best thing about walking is seeing the reactions of other people on the street, specifically the tourists. How, do you ask, can I spot a tourist? Easy:
-tourists do not jay walk...the literally stand there like schmucks waiting for the light to change while in the mean time, myself and other natives are a block ahead
-tourists glare at the jay walkers...dont get me started
-tourists fear the crazies downtown...they walk to the other side of the street or grip their bags tighter when they walk by them
-tourists have a camera...the stop in the middle of the street to take a picture of some building or something else lame
So as I was walking home, I could see the familiar site of red and blue lights flashing. I was instantly giddy with anticipation....and I was not disappointed! As I approached I saw 4 of Seattle's finest surrounding the hood of their car and heard every profanity in the book! I looked and there is one of Seattle's upstanding citizens sitting on the hood of the car...my guess is it was a woman, but as you know from previous posts, I can never be sure of that. It was screaming and swearing and jerking its head around and the cops were basically just standing their rolling their eyes. I am so entertained and cant help but giggle to myself because it is just another day downtown:) As I look ahead, 4 ladies are just beside themselves with disgust and fear. Calm down ladies...pretty sure the 4 cops that are surrounding it wont let anything happen to you and plus even if it did break loose, I am sure it is so drunk that you could out run it. Bottom line: welcome to Seattle!! I get a few blocks down and see an ambulance headed towards the corner where It was...I can only conclude that it fell off the hood of the car and injured itself or that the cops got sick of dealing with it and pawned it off on the EMTs.
Seriously, it is just so fun sometimes to be downtown and I hope it brings everyone a little comfort knowing that the warm weather will still give me enough material to blog :)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
and I am back
I must apologize for being off the radar for about a week! Last week there was nothing crazy that really happened (weird, I know!) and this week has been slightly crazy.
So I get on bus and am immediately distracted by this woman who will not stop fidgeting. She is standing up, tucking in her shirt, picking at her shirt, rolling her sleeves, unrolling her sleeves, and all around just driving me nuts. Either stop taking whatever you are on or lets pop a few more pills before getting on the bus, lady!
At the next stop, a dude gets on the bus and is breaking a rule (I am sure you are all shocked) by talking on the phone. Now, I use the term talking loosely as it was more like yelling. Hey buddy, no one gives a rip that you are upset that Mad Men wont be back till 2012 or that Anderson Cooper is also upset about it. I am pretty sure that those who ride in the free ride area dont care that John Hamm or January Jones arent back for another year...just sayin'.
So as I am exiting the bus and I notice at the bus stops that my bus routes are being closed as of February 5th. Have no fear, I can almost guarantee that whatever the new bus ride is there will still be plenty of interesting folks to write about. The blog will go on!!
Just as a side note, I was crossing the street (I was not jaywalking, there is a first time for everything) and a woman in a car flipped me off for walking!! Oh I am so sorry sunshine...I didnt mean to walk in front of you and make you slow down. I am such an asshole for being a pedestrian and having the right of way. (God, I need a sarcasm font!!) Put you cigarette down, pull your head out of your ass, and learn the rules of the road! For those who know me, I am sure you can guess what my response was to her finger...
**DISCLAIMER** For all those Mad Men fans out there, I agree that it is a pretty sad statement, I just didnt need it yelled to me on a bus.
So I get on bus and am immediately distracted by this woman who will not stop fidgeting. She is standing up, tucking in her shirt, picking at her shirt, rolling her sleeves, unrolling her sleeves, and all around just driving me nuts. Either stop taking whatever you are on or lets pop a few more pills before getting on the bus, lady!
At the next stop, a dude gets on the bus and is breaking a rule (I am sure you are all shocked) by talking on the phone. Now, I use the term talking loosely as it was more like yelling. Hey buddy, no one gives a rip that you are upset that Mad Men wont be back till 2012 or that Anderson Cooper is also upset about it. I am pretty sure that those who ride in the free ride area dont care that John Hamm or January Jones arent back for another year...just sayin'.
So as I am exiting the bus and I notice at the bus stops that my bus routes are being closed as of February 5th. Have no fear, I can almost guarantee that whatever the new bus ride is there will still be plenty of interesting folks to write about. The blog will go on!!
Just as a side note, I was crossing the street (I was not jaywalking, there is a first time for everything) and a woman in a car flipped me off for walking!! Oh I am so sorry sunshine...I didnt mean to walk in front of you and make you slow down. I am such an asshole for being a pedestrian and having the right of way. (God, I need a sarcasm font!!) Put you cigarette down, pull your head out of your ass, and learn the rules of the road! For those who know me, I am sure you can guess what my response was to her finger...
**DISCLAIMER** For all those Mad Men fans out there, I agree that it is a pretty sad statement, I just didnt need it yelled to me on a bus.
Monday, January 17, 2011
I heart irony
Happy MLK Jr day to everyone...although, since I didnt get a day off work..bah hum bug.
The bus wasnt that crowded today. I feel good that the crazies observe the holiday, but Safeco doesnt...sure. The bus was stopped and as I looked outside I saw a dude asking for change. Now, this is not an uncommon occurrence in downtown Seattle. However, as I looked closely at this dude, he was wearing a brand new North Face jacket. How did I know it was a brand new jacket you may ask. Well, I will tell you: it was bright white and if I can barely keep white items clean, I guarantee that this dude cant either. So here are some of the thoughts that ran through my brain:
1. If I were begging for change, I wouldnt wear a brand new expensive item...kinda doesnt appear that one would need change if one can afford North Face.
2. Did he steal it? If so, then why would anyone reward crime with spare change?
3. I am actually slightly jealous of this guy...the jacket was darling!
4. I give it till the end of the week till that jacket is a nice shade of dirt
5. I kinda wish I was out there as I would definitely say something to this guy about this...I am sure it would have made for a better blog
Tomorrow is another day...and fingers crossed, another blog!
The bus wasnt that crowded today. I feel good that the crazies observe the holiday, but Safeco doesnt...sure. The bus was stopped and as I looked outside I saw a dude asking for change. Now, this is not an uncommon occurrence in downtown Seattle. However, as I looked closely at this dude, he was wearing a brand new North Face jacket. How did I know it was a brand new jacket you may ask. Well, I will tell you: it was bright white and if I can barely keep white items clean, I guarantee that this dude cant either. So here are some of the thoughts that ran through my brain:
1. If I were begging for change, I wouldnt wear a brand new expensive item...kinda doesnt appear that one would need change if one can afford North Face.
2. Did he steal it? If so, then why would anyone reward crime with spare change?
3. I am actually slightly jealous of this guy...the jacket was darling!
4. I give it till the end of the week till that jacket is a nice shade of dirt
5. I kinda wish I was out there as I would definitely say something to this guy about this...I am sure it would have made for a better blog
Tomorrow is another day...and fingers crossed, another blog!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Oldie but a Goodie
Well friends, this has been an odd bus week...meaning, it has been filled with normal people! Mark this week down as I am sure it wont happen again. So I will reach down into the stories that occurred prior to this blog and relay a fav of mine.
About 4 months ago, I got on the bus thinking it was going to be a normal day(I know better). I am sitting on the sideways facing seats and there is a woman across from me. Now, she looks like your standard 'citizen' of Seattle...a little ragged, with a hint of crazy. I dont think much of it until I notice her reaching into her shirt. Umm, lady...pretty sure the bus is not the proper place for an adjustment. She then removes her hand and she is holding a live mouse. Let me repeat that for you: She pulled a live mouse out of her bra. I am pretty sure my jaw was on the floor. She not only pulls this mouse out, but it is clear that this is her pet. She is petting it and talking to it, and, might I add, asking the wheelchair bound/mentally challenged rider if he wants to pet it. Listen Minnie, the poor guy cant even speak...pretty sure he doesnt want to pet your bra mouse. She then puts the mouse back in her bra and passes out. Some things to note:
1. Lets just say she is not rolling with a ton of cleavage here...pretty sure the mouse is bigger than its 'home'
2. What the hell is she on that she can pass out with a mouse in her bra?! That cant be comfortable
3. Is that hygienic?!
I swear, I cannot make this stuff up...believe it or not!!!
About 4 months ago, I got on the bus thinking it was going to be a normal day(I know better). I am sitting on the sideways facing seats and there is a woman across from me. Now, she looks like your standard 'citizen' of Seattle...a little ragged, with a hint of crazy. I dont think much of it until I notice her reaching into her shirt. Umm, lady...pretty sure the bus is not the proper place for an adjustment. She then removes her hand and she is holding a live mouse. Let me repeat that for you: She pulled a live mouse out of her bra. I am pretty sure my jaw was on the floor. She not only pulls this mouse out, but it is clear that this is her pet. She is petting it and talking to it, and, might I add, asking the wheelchair bound/mentally challenged rider if he wants to pet it. Listen Minnie, the poor guy cant even speak...pretty sure he doesnt want to pet your bra mouse. She then puts the mouse back in her bra and passes out. Some things to note:
1. Lets just say she is not rolling with a ton of cleavage here...pretty sure the mouse is bigger than its 'home'
2. What the hell is she on that she can pass out with a mouse in her bra?! That cant be comfortable
3. Is that hygienic?!
I swear, I cannot make this stuff up...believe it or not!!!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Refresher
Happy Thursday to everyone...if you are like me, I am sure you are wondering why it isnt Friday as this week has been too much.
So I thought I might take this opportunity to give a refresher on the rules that I laid out a few blogs ago. I know that I refer to them often and if there are new people following out there (which there better be as I expect everyone to tell a friend about this!) that might not know them. Also, I am sure I will be adding to them in the near future. So here they are:
So I thought I might take this opportunity to give a refresher on the rules that I laid out a few blogs ago. I know that I refer to them often and if there are new people following out there (which there better be as I expect everyone to tell a friend about this!) that might not know them. Also, I am sure I will be adding to them in the near future. So here they are:
Rule 1: Do not board the bus until all those exiting are off the bus.
Rule 2: When you are in the ride free zone, you dont have to pay.
Rule 3: Dont ask stupid questions.
Rule 4: Do not talk loudly on your cell phone.
Rule 5: Do not put purses or other bags on the seat next to you.
Rule 6: If you are sitting in the handicapped seats, you move when someone in a wheelchair needs them
In reviewing these again myself, I will say that rule 5 just constantly gets abused. Here is an example from my morning bus:
Really lady...your suitcase needs a place on the bus. I have taken the bus multiple times with a suitcase and I do not put it on a chair...plus, she is sitting in the seat that has the MOST room and her suitcase would definitely fit there, but no...it clearly needs its own seat. Princess
Then this guy comes on the bus:
Seriously...your leg and a backpack?! This is the bus Mister, this is not your living room sofa where you can sit anyway you please. You sit your ass down with your feet on the floor and your items in your lap. If I cant cross my legs, you count lounge. Boom.
So Larry the Lounger is sitting down and at the next stop a guy gets on the bus and politely asks the guy to move his leg. Well, Larry just about has a full blown melt down and stands up, starts walking down the aisle swearing, "fucking A...cant get any respect for the disabled" Ummm...disabled?! Where did that come from?! The guy got on the bus walking just fine, there is no wheelchair, and he has no cane...how is anyone supposed to infer that he is disabled? Dont get your panties in a twist bud just cause you got called out on your rule breaking!
Then there is this guy:
There is no real story on this guy. I just had to share with everyone what he is wearing. Now, one might think that he is wearing a camo jacket and pants...well, one would be wrong. This is a full blown camo onesie!! So sweet!!! He was really tall so he could have it custom made. Props Dude...props
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Of course...
...the first time I ride the bus when I have my new computer and there really wasnt anything interesting that occurred! Story of my life!!
So I am not sure if I have told the story of my morning bus route and Mark so I can share that with you all :)
My morning bus is usually pretty normal as it doesnt come from downtown proper. It is filled with normal, office employees and is usually far from scary/exciting. However, when I started going into work early, I encountered Mark. Now, let me start with the basics:
1. He clearly has a mental disorder...which one, I cannot put my finger on
2. He always is wearing a reflective vest
3. He walks like a weeble
4. He smells like tuna fish and pee
He gets on the bus every day and walks down the aisles either saying Hi to the people he knows or trying to introduce himself. I get on the bus at 6:54...I dont like talking to people on my afternoon bus, let alone first thing in the morning, however, I really dont want to be rude to him (see point 1). I have been willing him to not talk to me and doing things like sitting next to people (which, I am sure you know I dont like to do either), keeping my earphones in, etc. Well, the other day my luck ran out. He was standing right next to me and asked, "what's your name". Writing that out does not due it justice...next time you see me please ask me to imitate Mark's voice.
I am a smart girl and really do not feel like sharing my name with bus folks regardless of their mental state, but I also dont want fellow passengers to think I am such a bitch...I start to panic and then reply, "Beth". He asks for my middle name...I reply, "Anne"...he then goes for the last name to which I reply "Gerhart". Thank goodness for my bestie Beth as I know she wont be mad :) He then wants to shake hands. Dude, I do not touch anything on the bus and please refer to point 4 plus its cold season...no dice Mark, that is where I draw the line!
Last week, Mark got on the bus and said "Hi Elizabeth" to which I can only giggle to myself (love you Beth!) and then says, "Shake". I am sorry, but regardless of your mental state, I will not be talked to like I am a K9...pass!!! He has done that a couple of times and I never shake his hand and he is starting to not talk to me (a small tear falls).
Ok...gotta run, I got the Nordstrom catalog and Cooking Light magazine in the mail today. For those that know me, you know how lucky you are to even get a blog :)
So I am not sure if I have told the story of my morning bus route and Mark so I can share that with you all :)
My morning bus is usually pretty normal as it doesnt come from downtown proper. It is filled with normal, office employees and is usually far from scary/exciting. However, when I started going into work early, I encountered Mark. Now, let me start with the basics:
1. He clearly has a mental disorder...which one, I cannot put my finger on
2. He always is wearing a reflective vest
3. He walks like a weeble
4. He smells like tuna fish and pee
He gets on the bus every day and walks down the aisles either saying Hi to the people he knows or trying to introduce himself. I get on the bus at 6:54...I dont like talking to people on my afternoon bus, let alone first thing in the morning, however, I really dont want to be rude to him (see point 1). I have been willing him to not talk to me and doing things like sitting next to people (which, I am sure you know I dont like to do either), keeping my earphones in, etc. Well, the other day my luck ran out. He was standing right next to me and asked, "what's your name". Writing that out does not due it justice...next time you see me please ask me to imitate Mark's voice.
I am a smart girl and really do not feel like sharing my name with bus folks regardless of their mental state, but I also dont want fellow passengers to think I am such a bitch...I start to panic and then reply, "Beth". He asks for my middle name...I reply, "Anne"...he then goes for the last name to which I reply "Gerhart". Thank goodness for my bestie Beth as I know she wont be mad :) He then wants to shake hands. Dude, I do not touch anything on the bus and please refer to point 4 plus its cold season...no dice Mark, that is where I draw the line!
Last week, Mark got on the bus and said "Hi Elizabeth" to which I can only giggle to myself (love you Beth!) and then says, "Shake". I am sorry, but regardless of your mental state, I will not be talked to like I am a K9...pass!!! He has done that a couple of times and I never shake his hand and he is starting to not talk to me (a small tear falls).
Ok...gotta run, I got the Nordstrom catalog and Cooking Light magazine in the mail today. For those that know me, you know how lucky you are to even get a blog :)
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