After a long day at work, I just cant wait to get on the bus! I desperately need a sarcasm font. So today as I was waiting at the bus stop, both of my buses pulled up at the same time. I then had to do what I had been doing for 8 hours and what I hate to do outside of work-make a decision. Now, I am notorious for picking the wrong line at the grocery store and, as it was just discovered, at the TSA security line. I do not know what my deal is, but when I finally make a decision, I always choose the wrong one. Well, I can add buses to that list as I CLEARLY chose the wrong bus today. I hop on the 18 versus the 15 and immediately regret it...ugh.
In my experience with my afternoon bus, I have learned that the Express bus usually comes before the regular bus. As I get on the bus I just tried to confirm that it was not the express with the bus driver as they are usually very helpful. Well, I obviously picked the bus driver with raging PMS, as the reply I got back was, "does it say Express anywhere on this bus?" which was said with more attitude than I can convey. Listen lady, I am not sure you know who you are messing with but don't start with me otherwise its going to be a long mile home!!! The bus continues on and we get to the next stop and I decide that in a future blog I am going to need to add to my bus rules cause another piece of etiquette got manhandled. I am sitting there and I see this person (its the bus, I cannot determine gender on a regular basis) just tugging on the cord which you pull to alert the driver that the next stop is needed. I look up and the light is on indicating that the cord had been pulled, yet this person keeps tugging. Umm, pulling the cord harder isn't going to make the bus stop any faster. Its like the people who continuously hit the elevator buttons...it does nothing but annoy people. I then heae the person yell, "Next Stop". Dude! I wouldn't want to piss off this particular bus driver and I am pretty sure that she will stop at the next stop...chill out! Trust me, we all want to get off the bus!!
At the next stop, this woman breaks one of my rules and gets on the bus before the rest of the people get off. It was classic!! This bus driver proceeds to go, "now why would you get on when the rest of the people haven't gotten off?!" Bus driver you might have redeemed yourself!! Dumb lady of course sits right next to me when there are a gazillion seats available. Sometimes I think the fact that I look normal and clean hurts me. Then a wheelchair lady gets on the bus with one of those motorized wheelchairs. I look and this lady has been on the bus before sans wheelchair. Am I seriously missing something?! Is Seattle just the laziest city out there? The bus driver proceeds to get mad at her too. This driver is on a rampage!!! The bus continues and this wheelchair lady proceeds to get on the phone (another rule broken!) and talk about how her insurance is dropping her and something about doctor appointments and basically starts crying...WAY TOO MUCH!! Pull yourself together lady, this is the bus not a therapist's office...personal calls like that should be confined to your residence.
Normally, when I leave the bus, I always say Thank You. My parents always instilled the importance of manners and I am usually grateful that I got to my destination in one piece. Guess who didn't get a thank you today...like I said, don't mess with me!! :)
BONUS TRAIN STORY
So I am in line to get my boarding pass in Portland to head home from a wonderful Christmas break. As I am standing in line, I realize that I left my kindle in my suitcase which they made me check. I say, under my breath, "shit". All of a sudden the person in front of me turns around and she says, "do you need me to hold your spot for you" A couple of things to note here:
1. This woman has not a tooth in her mouth and what appear to be meth sores on her face and she reeks of cigarette smoke
2. How did she know that I needed my spot saved?
Regardless (or Irregardless :)), it was a very nice gesture and I got my kindle and she saved my spot. That is where I thought/wanted our conversation should have ended. She proceeds to ask me multiple questions about checking luggage, how long it takes, and some other things...without teeth it was hard to understand. She then asks me to save her spot while she goes to finish her cigarette. I see why you wanted me to save your spot, you wanted me to do the same for you...well played. I do and as she is gone I begin to realize that the people you are standing in line with are usually the ones that you sit next too (just a little heads up if you ever take the train). Sheer panic sits in!! What if I get stuck sitting next to her? Regardless of the missing teeth and possible meth sores, she is way to chatty for me and is going to stink to high heaven of cigarette smoke!! I get enough of this on the bus and just start praying that I don't get stuck to her. I try to give the conductor some instructions, but then an old man fell and well, I was just thrown a seat. I start walking to the train and I am about to have an anxiety attack. She gets on my car and the praying intensifies: PLEASE DO NT BE SEATED NEXT TO ME!!! She calls out her number as she obviously can't read the bold numbers that go in numeric order above the seats and she is not right next to me...thank Jesus!! but she is seated behind me which she points out and is excited about. A poor old man gets stuck sitting next to her, but they turn out to be quite the pair and even more annoying than I could have asked. The entire trip, he proceeds to give her a history lesson on Washington. "This is where the first train in WA was" "At the turn of the century, blah blah blah". I am trying to sleep and could give a rip about the history of Centralia. My new bff was just replying back with a bunch of 'aint's', 'swells', and other grammatically incorrect words. The worst was in Tacoma, the history buff must have said the word TACOMA 6 times in a very loud voice and the guy next to me goes, "What city are we in?" Umm, hello...pretty sure the guy behind us just told you that. I reply, "tacoma". He says, "oh this is Coma...it's beautiful" A couple of things:
1. You had no idea where you were yet you feel comfortable enough to give the city a nickname? Not sure that you and Tacoma are that close yet, buddy.
2. Beautiful?
My bff at this point every 5 minutes asks how much further and that she is so excited and anxious to get there...literally every 5 minutes. You and me both sister...if I have to hear you say that one more time, I am going to lose it.
Cheers!
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