So I get on the bus today and at the next stop after mine a bunch of ladies get on. They start talking about how busy it is downtown and wondering why. One says, "no one won the lottery as a person in NYC did". Ok...let me see if I follow that logic: if someone in Seattle had won the lottery, that would explain why it was busy? Pretty sure if that was the case, I dont think a lottery winner would be handing out their winnings to strangers in the city.
They then start talking about how they dont play the lottery as they couldnt imagine giving a winner one of their hard earned dollars. I can understand that logic. I was just about to stop paying attention as they weren't that crazy, when one of them said the following: "I can win much more in the casino". Again ladies, let me see if I can catch myself up with your logic...you would rather spend $20 to win $100 versus spending $1 for the lotto to win multi-millions. I understand your odds are better with the casino, but lets re-phrase that last statement. Then they start bragging about how much they win. "I won $200 the other day." "I hit 5 jackpots in a row on the slots" Ok ladies, now I am going to have to call BS on these statements. Neither of you is wearing clean clothes and your last shower, I am sure, is a distant memory. If you are winning all this money, you sure have an interesting way of spending it. Not that it is a bad thing...hell, I get an extra $100 and I am at Nordstrom.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Karma
Ok so the bus was awesome (only in the fact that I have stories to share:)) today!
Every now and again, the bus does something to me and I am convinced it knows that I talk shit about it in my blog. I have been splashed and left at a bus stop. Today, I got on and the wheelchair seat was up. It took me about 6 tries to get this thing down even after using two hands. I get it bus...you have to win sometimes.
I get on the bus and the familiar smell of stale booze is lingering in the air. Usually, when this happens I can scan the bus and easily find the person whose pores the booze is seeping out of. After a quick scan, I do not see anyone who fits the normal boozey-profile. I then look and in the very front corner of the bus, there is a guy completely passed out with a suitcase at his feet. I found the culprit! I get my phone out to take a picture (always thinking of my readers) and the bus stops and everyone crowds the front. The bus driver then starts yelling and shaking this guy to get up as this is his apparent stop. Rip Van Winkle does not move. I start freaking out. I mean, I have prepared myself that I will probably see someone who has passed away on my bus, but I was not thinking it was going to be today! The gal next to him starts shaking him too and he is still not moving. Great...a dead body means the bus will not continue for a long while and it has just started raining. The gal gets up and starts yelling and shaking him. Thanks for helping chica, but step 1, pull up your pants...crack kills. Finally, the guy moves to indicate he is alive. Well, he opens his eyes and then closes them again. I have watched enough Interventions in my day to know that coming off whatever substance he is on, is not fun. The bus driver then starts to get pissed and threatens he is "going to call someone and have him reported." Umm...what?! Bus drivers can do that?! The guy with the pee bag would have been number 1 on my list to report...who cares if RVW is taking a snooze!! Clearly, this bus driver is a little to particular and not used to the folks on this bus route...I should have given him my blog address.
The guy finally decides to get moving and the pansy bus driver and the crack-girl have a conversation about how sad that is and some other crack. Trust me you two, 1 week on this bus route and you wont think twice about someone passed out...you will just be happy they are quiet!
Then a guy and his girlfriend get on the bus and the dude is blatantly holding the tail end of a joint aka a roach (I told you, I watch a lot of Intervention:)). I'm sorry dude, did the bus interrupt your session...good thing you are saving that for later. Of course, the stoners took the bus two blocks...lazy asses!
Every now and again, the bus does something to me and I am convinced it knows that I talk shit about it in my blog. I have been splashed and left at a bus stop. Today, I got on and the wheelchair seat was up. It took me about 6 tries to get this thing down even after using two hands. I get it bus...you have to win sometimes.
I get on the bus and the familiar smell of stale booze is lingering in the air. Usually, when this happens I can scan the bus and easily find the person whose pores the booze is seeping out of. After a quick scan, I do not see anyone who fits the normal boozey-profile. I then look and in the very front corner of the bus, there is a guy completely passed out with a suitcase at his feet. I found the culprit! I get my phone out to take a picture (always thinking of my readers) and the bus stops and everyone crowds the front. The bus driver then starts yelling and shaking this guy to get up as this is his apparent stop. Rip Van Winkle does not move. I start freaking out. I mean, I have prepared myself that I will probably see someone who has passed away on my bus, but I was not thinking it was going to be today! The gal next to him starts shaking him too and he is still not moving. Great...a dead body means the bus will not continue for a long while and it has just started raining. The gal gets up and starts yelling and shaking him. Thanks for helping chica, but step 1, pull up your pants...crack kills. Finally, the guy moves to indicate he is alive. Well, he opens his eyes and then closes them again. I have watched enough Interventions in my day to know that coming off whatever substance he is on, is not fun. The bus driver then starts to get pissed and threatens he is "going to call someone and have him reported." Umm...what?! Bus drivers can do that?! The guy with the pee bag would have been number 1 on my list to report...who cares if RVW is taking a snooze!! Clearly, this bus driver is a little to particular and not used to the folks on this bus route...I should have given him my blog address.
The guy finally decides to get moving and the pansy bus driver and the crack-girl have a conversation about how sad that is and some other crack. Trust me you two, 1 week on this bus route and you wont think twice about someone passed out...you will just be happy they are quiet!
Then a guy and his girlfriend get on the bus and the dude is blatantly holding the tail end of a joint aka a roach (I told you, I watch a lot of Intervention:)). I'm sorry dude, did the bus interrupt your session...good thing you are saving that for later. Of course, the stoners took the bus two blocks...lazy asses!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Seattle by foot
So the last two days it has actually been nice in Seattle. Now, obviously nice is a relative term as nice in Seattle means not raining. I took advantage of the weather and walked home. I actually think that when the weather becomes nice all the time it will be even more entertaining then the bus. Here are some quick hits from what I encountered:
- A woman (I use this term loosely) on the side of the street playing a recorder - now I am all for bringing a little culture/music to the crazies, but dude, 2nd grade called...it needs its instrument back
- The most frightening woman I have ever seen - I am walking down and around a corner comes this woman (I am going to try to do this justice) who had shaven the front half of her hair and pulled the rest back in a ponytail. She had a large, round face and upon that face she had painted it. The paint consisted of small, squiggles in various colors - pink, green, red, blue. They squiggles and lines were all over her face including on the eyelids. She appeared to be dressed in blankets and had a frown on her face. She needs to fire her stylist
Monday, March 14, 2011
Distance makes the heart...
I know that there was no blog last week and I do apologize for that. In all honesty, it was a boring week on the bus. This Monday, however, was not.
The bus ride starts this afternoon when I entered the bus to a frightening face. There was an old man sitting at the first seat as I rounded the corner. He was peering through the bars with the creepiest grin on his face. That, combined with the fact that he had long, white hair, made him look like a possessed Moses. It scared the crap out of me and, instinctively, I said, "Jesus". I half thought he was going to reply back, "yes?".
I then look down the aisle for a seat and see this jewel:
If you have been following my blog, I am sure you can guess my thoughts on this. If you haven't been following, its time to start. This guy is unbelievable! Go ahead and make yourself comfy there Princess...can we get you anything? Pillow? Cocktail? Whatever you need, this is your bus and we are just privileged to be on it. UN-FREAKING-REAL! To top it all off, the buss was rather full and Princess Fat Ass was taking up 3 seats. Wouldn't even move for a woman and her child...and who says chivalry is dead?!
I was fuming at this point and the rest of the bus ride consisted of the usual:
The bus ride starts this afternoon when I entered the bus to a frightening face. There was an old man sitting at the first seat as I rounded the corner. He was peering through the bars with the creepiest grin on his face. That, combined with the fact that he had long, white hair, made him look like a possessed Moses. It scared the crap out of me and, instinctively, I said, "Jesus". I half thought he was going to reply back, "yes?".
I then look down the aisle for a seat and see this jewel:
I was fuming at this point and the rest of the bus ride consisted of the usual:
- guy playing loud music on the bus, followed by the bus driver yelling
- a guy in a wheelchair and old fatigues gets on...he doesn't need a wheelchair
- a crazy guy gets on the bus and starts ranting about how he is the best bus rider cause he always waits for people to get off before getting on...sure
Oh Monday...how you never disappoint
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)